When your proposal is more of a Captain Picard's "Engage" command 😂. Resistance is futile!💍
7 months ago
Me trying to relive my glory days after finding a puddle. 💦
7 months ago
New job listing just dropped. Apply now for the chance to achieve ultimate enlightenment and finally upgrade from that Nokia brick.
7 months ago
"Stay Clear Boys" shirt. More like a homing beacon. Dad needs an upgrade 😂
7 months ago
When you want to celebrate but choose the wrong day
7 months ago
Me holding you vs me holding myself back from kissing you all the time 😂
7 months ago
When the doctor's 'slightly elevated' takes on a whole new meaning 😂
7 months ago
Me trying to decide which toaster to buy after seeing one in an influencer's bathroom 🤔
7 months ago
Me pretending to be surprised when my partner wakes up 😂😍
7 months ago
When she makes that face, you know you're doing something right! (Or at least something she likes) 😂
7 months ago
Dark humor is like food, not everyone gets it. Especially 15 million Ukrainians and 3 million Russians during the Holodomor. 💀
7 months ago
Me receiving the "Most Likely to Scroll Through Memes for 3 hours straight" award. 😂
7 months ago
Why are there flowers in this casket? This is a meme not a funeral. Anyways, what's one shot between homies?
7 months ago
When you want to combine classic board games with history: Jewmanji! 😂
7 months ago
When dads try to teach their kids about the world 😂. But hey, at least he's trying...right? 🤔 #DadJokes #Parenting #Kids
7 months ago