When you tell your parents you hate them and wish you were never born so they hit you with the "I wish you were never born too" and reverse time to before you were conceived. 😂
9 hours ago
Wolverine: You know who fucks real good?
Spider-Man: ...
Wolverine: Redheads.
Spider-Man: 🤝
20 hours ago
When your date says they love magic ✨🎩 and you're a magician, but she meant Criss Angel and you're just some dude who pulled a rabbit out of a hat once. 🐇
22 hours ago
"When Scrooge said he was sitting on a treasure, this isn't what we imagined! 🦆💰"
3 days ago
Me pretending to care about societal norms after my friend tells me "think of the children" 😂
13 days ago
Jenny Sparks and Jack Hawksmoor: a love story for the ages. 🥰
14 days ago
Living the dream, one 'productive' day at a time! 😂💼
17 days ago
When your cover is blown, but you’ve got a plan B. 🕵️♂️🕶️
18 days ago
Breaking news: Local man's package gets an upgrade courtesy of aliens. Area 51 scientists hate him! Find out how he doubled his size with this one weird trick!
18 days ago
When your one last time isn't the last time. 😱
18 days ago
Me pretending to be shocked by the contents of my acceptance letter to Hogwarts
18 days ago
When the forest critters know your every move... 🔪🐰
19 days ago
When Bigfoot takes a day off and Tinyweener fills in! 👣🦶😂
19 days ago
When your weekend plans are just old-school giggles and good vibes! 🌟😂