70% chance of rape today, but hey, at least it's sunny tomorrow! โ๏ธ
2 days ago
America is #1. Number one in heart attacks, total crimes, CO2 emissions, and prisoners! Also leading in teen birth rate and plastic surgery. If winning means having the most McDonald's, America is number one there too. ๐บ๐ธ๐ฅ
3 days ago
When your family picture is suspiciously well organized... ๐ต๏ธโโ๏ธ๐ผ๏ธ #Framed
4 days ago
When your attempt at being politically correct backfires spectacularly ๐คฆโโ๏ธ๐ณ
5 days ago
When you accidentally reveal too much about your "knowledge" of Central Park at night ๐ฌ
16 days ago
AIG exec steals $500M, gets 4 years. Homeless man steals $100 to eat, gets 15 years. The system worksโฆ for someone, I guess. ๐ค
16 days ago
๐ When you realize 'help' isn't for everyone... ๐ฌ
21 days ago
๐ถ When your job takes 'night shift' to a whole new level! ๐จ๐